Been there? Done that? No worries. Here’s how to avoid the mistakes again:
Avoidable Mistake #1:
Your profile picture must be clear, modest, and have only you in the picture. This can be done with a simple smartphone, it does not have to be professional. Make sure your outfit is modest, mystery is more attractive than pictures that are too revealing. Immodest pictures can also communicate desperation, which is the opposite of what you want.
Avoidable Mistake #2:
Picking the wrong site.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, then why are you on a hook up site? There are websites specifically designed just for committed relationships. Why do you think that is? Relationships can be hard, but the benefits outweigh the risks. Why not start with someone who wants to respect you from the beginning, not just see you as a notch on their belt? Don’t waste your time or money or body on all that. You deserve to be respected.
Avoidable Mistake #3:
While it is tempting to portray what your favorite magazine says is attractive, honesty is the best policy. When you project a perceived desired persona, you have to keep up this persona. You want someone who will love you for who you are, all that you are. So in your profile…be who YOU are. If you are not, you will dread the “reveal” day and it may end up like an episode of Catfish. Even if you profile pic is accurate, men can spot a fake.
Avoidable Mistake #4:
Rushing through the personality quizzes.
Many sites offer an inventory that helps you to assess who you really are when no one is looking. This allows their metrics to place you with the most suitable candidate according to their system. They also cause you to think about who your ideal suitor is. There is much self knowledge to be gained as you go through it. If you take the time to consider who you really are, what you really want in a partner, you are much more likely to recognize Mr. Right when he comes shows up in your inbox.
Avoidable Mistake #5:
Too Much Too Soon
So you found a potential match. The suspense is killing you. You want to get to know him as soon as possible and start picking out china.
Stop. Right. There. Take a deep breath.
Before you tell him your life story and all the ways you are broken, contain yourself.
When you take time to get to know one another you will create a trust that is strong enough to sustain the deep knowledge of one another. Your life and experiences are like pearls. You do not want to throw them out before just anyone. You want someone who will treasure and respect them. So how will you know? You go slow and you reveal little at a time. If the warning flags go up, you stop. You have control over your life and information. Take time to respect yourself in this process.
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